


Turns to Dust

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-17
Updated: 2006-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-30 22:59:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15106565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Donna helps Josh cope with Leo's death.





	Turns to Dust

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Turns to Dust**

**by:** Susie 

**Character(s):** Donna Moss, Josh Lyman  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance/Comfort/Angst/Hurt/Character Death   
**Rating:** YTEEN  
**Summary:** Donna helps Josh cope with Leo's death  
**Written:** 2006-01-16  
**Author's Note:** So... my second story ever. It's really, really easy to see how this could become a debilitating addiction. Oh well. School's overrated anyway! The title comes from Degrassi, which I'm fairly confident must be a first. The full lyric is "And what I know is that everything I touch... just turns to dust." Struck me as very Josh-like. Anyway... feedback is good! 

Josh Lyman stared blankly at the vetting files before him. As he had been doing twenty minutes ago, an hour before that, and the day before that. It had been two days since the funeral, and five since a second heart attack had claimed the life of the man he considered to be his second father. 

Stackhouse. Baker. 

Baker. Stackhouse. 

He needed to choose the Congressman’s new running mate. 

He needed to make the decision on who would replace his mentor on the ticket. 

Stackhouse. Baker. 

Baker. Stackhouse. 

“Josh.” 

He glanced up at the door to see a short brunette looking at him with a mix of sympathy and frustration that made him feel ill. 

“Lou.” 

“We need a name. The Congressman’s resuming the campaign in a couple of hours. We’ve got a meeting in the conference room in fifteen minutes, and we need to be able to get the ball rolling.” 

Stackhouse. Baker. 

Baker. Stackhouse. 

Josh sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes and tossing her the Stackhouse file. “Have the Congressman call him. He’s probably expecting it.” 

Lou took a brief glance at the name on the file she had caught before giving Josh one more look and walking out. 

Twenty minutes later, he reluctantly dragged himself out of his office and into the conference room. Lou had already told the staff of the Senator’s honored acceptance and was making sure they knew all that they could about him. They had gotten used to Josh’s delayed appearances and near silence since Friday. 

Most of them had, anyway. 

Donna Moss glanced at him from across the table as he took a seat. Noted his vacant expression as Lou glossed over the Senator’s filibuster during the course of her presentation… his lack of reaction to the mention of his brief run for President as a third party candidate. 

He finally spoke when Lou wrapped up. He looked around at everyone seated around him before his eyes settled on an empty spot on the table. “Three more weeks, everyone. We need to buckle down.” Finally, he looked up. “Do a job.” 

Before anyone could so much as blink, he was out of his chair and inside his office, closing the door on his way in. 

Donna ignored the obstacle, quietly opening the door and shutting it again behind her as she slipped in. Josh ignored her, focusing on the most recent polling and the map on his whiteboard. 

“Josh.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Josh. Look at me.” 

He raised his eyes, but didn’t meet hers. “What?” 

“Joshua.” 

With an exasperated sigh, he finally met her eyes. “Do you want something?” 

“It’s not your fault, Josh.” 

“I’ve got things to do.” His gaze shifted back to the map, as he rolled the blue and red markers in his hands. 

“You need to stop blaming yourself.” 

“I’m the one who asked him to run. I’m the one who sent him on the road. I’m the one who kept screwing up the campaign so he had to supervise me.” 

“I’m going to ignore that last comment, since you know full well that no one could have run this campaign better than you. But you also know that he never would have agreed to be on the ticket if the President hadn’t encouraged it and a dozen doctors hadn’t signed off.” 

“I shouldn’t have even suggested it. I never should have risked that added level of stress.” 

“As opposed to what, Josh? If he hadn’t been here, he’d have been at the White House, trying to help the President finish out his term with a staff that’s been crumbling since you left… maybe longer.” She instantly regretted suggesting that may have been his fault, and wasn’t at all surprised when he flinched slightly. 

“Longer.” 

Amazed that he wasn’t blaming himself, she found herself at a loss for words. “What?” 

“Maybe Sam. Maybe Will going to the VP’s office. You leaving.” He looked right at her as he quietly added the final choice. 

It was Donna’s turn to look away. At the pure sadness she had seen in his eyes, she could feel her heart breaking just a little more. 

“You had a foot out the door already when I went. It sure didn’t take to long to start the Santos campaign.” 

“I didn’t.” 

“You didn’t what?” 

“Have a foot out the door. I hadn’t considered leaving until you left me. Then I was on a plane to Texas later that day.” 

“I didn’t leave you. I left the job.” 

“And just happened to stop speaking to me at the same time.” 

“Right. Because you called me so often. I left the job, Josh. I needed something more. More than typing memos and making sure your burgers were burned.” 

“You were doing more than any other assistant in the building! I almost got you killed giving you more responsibility!” 

She shuttered at the thought. Gaza was something they had barely talked about, and dealing with her own after-affects had understandably prevented her from considering his. 

“It wasn’t your fault.” 

“Donna…” 

“It wasn’t! You don’t control everything and you can’t fix everything and you certainly didn’t cause an SUV thousands of miles away from you to be blown up by people you’ve never met.” 

“I should ha…” 

“I don’t need you to protect me. I needed to leave the job. I needed to try something new. I needed…” 

She slowed to a stop as she watched Josh rub his eyes and sigh. “Donna… I’m sorry I brought it up. There’s no reason you should have to justify your career moves to me.” Donna sat quietly as he turned back to the polling data and map. Minutes inched by before Josh finally broke the silence. “Is there a reason you’re still here?” 

“I’m not leaving until you forgive yourself. For Leo. For everything.” 

“I’ve got work to do, and frankly, so do you.” 

“Some things are more important.” 

“If you hadn’t noticed, we’re trying to get someone elected President here.” 

“Gee, is that what those ‘Santos for President’ signs mean, because I really wasn’t sure. I’m serious, Josh. No good can come from blaming yourself and your airplane hanger still needs directing.” 

“I’m fine. They’re fine.” He gestured at the staff outside his office, busy on computers and phones, hunched over files. “They’re working hard. You should join them.” 

“This is more important.” 

“What ‘this?’ There is no ‘this.’ I’m trying to get through this data and decide where to send the Senator, the Congressman, money, resources…” 

“Knock it off, Josh. You know what I’m talking about and you know you’ve been staring at that packet for over an hour without getting past the first page.” 

“What to you want me to say, Donna? I’ll say it! We’ve barely talked for months and now you’re in here hounding me for I don’t know what when I know there’s work you need to be doing. Like, say, I don’t know, getting ready for a press conference about Stackhouse!” 

“This… you… are more important. Besides, I knew hours ago you were going with Stackhouse; I’m ready.” She smirked as she added the last bit, but noted it had done little to take away from the surprise he had shown at the first. 

“Should have told me… save me from a few hours of deliberation.” 

“You didn’t ask.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Yeah… Look… I know you’re still getting used to the idea of me with power, but-” she stopped abruptly as he started to laugh quietly. “Josh! I know it’s new for you, but it’s not funny!” He responded by laughing harder. Donna could only glare at him as she waited for him to relax, but a part of her was glad to see him break out of gloom that had incased him for five days. “Have you gone ‘round the bend?” 

“Donna… there was never a day that you didn’t have control. And you know I always listened to, than mocked, than often used, your input.” He thought he could see a little glint of a tear in the corner of her eye. 

“Why couldn’t you say stuff like that when I was working for you?” 

He smiled again, “You are working for me.” 

“You know what I meant!” 

“Hardly ever.” 

They fell quiet again, but the difference in the level of tension was apparent. Both of their faces held grins as Josh got up and walked around his desk until he was leaning on it directly in front of her. “Thanks.” 

“For…?” 

“Everything. Not just today. Everything. You know I wouldn’t be here without you, right? And I don’t mean on the campaign or anything… I’d just… I’d have been a goner long ago without you. And I’m sorry I never told you that enough… or at all.” 

“Josh…” She bit her lip as she tried to stop the tears welling up in her eyes from falling. 

“I mean it. Telling me I’d already hired you was the best thing that ever happened to me. You have no idea how valuable you are to me.” 

“Josh…” 

“Donnatella.” He leaned forward to wipe a tear off of her cheek, hesitating slightly before leaning forward and kissing her softly. Moments later, he jumped backwards, nearly smashing against his desk in the process. “Oh my god… I’m so sorry… I shouldn’t ha-” 

But Donna stood up smiling. “Shut up,” she said, before kissing him back. “You should have done that years ago!” 

“You were my assistant.” 

“You’re still my boss.” 

He gave her a huge smile, like she hadn’t seen on his face in months, probably longer. “Yeah, but this time, I’m in charge so I get to make the rules.” 

Matching his smile, Donna kissed him again. “I like the sound of that!” 


End file.
